David Letterman: 22 Years of Late Show Guests

David Letterman will always be my favorite talk show host. I’ve detailed some of my favorite remote bits he’s done here. May 20th will be his final show, so CBS made this nice compilation of guest moments. Of course NBC is still acting like assholes and won’t let him use any footage of his time there.

Why David Letterman Is The King Of Late Night

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I grew up watching Dave. My parents would tape it on the VCR (I know, I’m old) and we’d watch him as a family every afternoon. So it pained me when the other day I was talking to some young whipper-snapper and he says Dave is just an unfunny grumpy old man. I’ve watched him recently and it’s sad to say it’s kind of true now. He’s pretty much phoning it in. But the man is 68 years old, cut him some slack! So I decided to go back and find some classic remote segments to prove Dave will always be the Kings of late night.

Dave brings his new bosses a fruit basket:
To put it mildly Dave had a salty relationship with NBC. I won’t go into the details, but let’s just say he hates everything about the network. So when General Electric bought NBC 1986 Dave thought it would be a great idea to bring his new bosses a fruit basket. It didn’t go well at all:

Dave didn’t work for NBC for much longer…

Dave works at Taco Bell:
For some reason Dave had a fascination with fast food. Here he is working the drive through window at Taco Bell.

Dave’s best lines:
“I have to know what kind you want ma’am, so I can tell you we’re out of it.”
“Wait a minute, I’m not exactly a computer.”
“Well my parents were both rude, maybe I got it from them.”
“Medium relative to what.”

And asking people to order food for him…classic!

Dave works at McDonalds:
Another classic bit with Dave working the drive though.

Dave’s best lines:
“I heard that Ronald McDonald was gay.”
“We’re completely out of hamburgers. I forgot to get to the market.”
“The food will always be ready. Are you read?”
And he actually got a guy to go to the grocery store and buy him a bag of onions.

Dave bothers people at McDonalds:
Did I mention Dave had a fascination with fast food?

Dave’s best lines:
“Has the shake machine ever gone nuts and killed a guy.”
“They seemed kind of dimwitted to me.”
“If we wanted to we could snuff Sweden out like that, but we won’t. We’re very friendly.”

Dave and Rupert annoy people:
Rupert Jee was the owner of the Hello Deli that was next door to the Ed Sullivan theatre, and he was involved in some of the best segments of the show. And yes he really worked at the Hello Deli, I bought a Coke from him once.

Dave’s best lines:
“Son of a bitch is a hollin mother aint it?”
“I’ll drop you like a bag of dirt.”
“Would you like to touch the pumpkins?”

Dave’s best lines:
“You buy a magazine I’ll take off my pants.”
“Who are you, Martha Stewart.”

Larry “Bud” Melman welcome people at a bus station:
The best part of Larry Melman is that he always pulled the microphone away from his face at the end of every sentence .

Letterman and Zsa Zsa Gabor eat fast food:
Did I mention that Dave really liked fast food?

Dave interrupts the Today Show:
“I’m not wearing pants!”

You can’t watch these segments and tell me that Dave’s comedic timing and delivery isn’t the best in the business. He’s stepping down next month (May 20th), and it will be the end of an era. Let’s end this by watching some highlights from his 10th anniversary show: